i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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