I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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