I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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