Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
