apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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