No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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