so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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