Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
