don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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