tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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