WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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