im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
