you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
