Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
