At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.