Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
