she was so not down for the gang bang
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.