Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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