I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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