he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
