Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
