He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
