it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Green mimosas i think yes
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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