some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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