I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
