If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
