Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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