absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
