I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
