Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
