She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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