omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
