I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
