I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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