I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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