thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize