You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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