If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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