Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
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just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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