I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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