So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
