some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
