Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
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In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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