Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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