so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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