Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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