I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
