what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
