Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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