so that wasnt chicken after all
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize