True but thats because hes a fetus.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
