I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
