I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
