no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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