Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
