She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
