how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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