what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am naked and annoyed.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
