I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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