We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
