so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
