So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
