My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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