if you like me you must not know who I am
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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