Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
