you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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