If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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