if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
